Angry Duck

I was just browsing through the Pets At Home dog toys as my pup has demolished her other ones so in dire need of some new toys to destroy. Anyway I came across the Doggy Doolittle Duck by Good Boy and had to laugh but also recoiled in slight fear! Haha the damn thing looks like its shouting and very angry. Think it would scare my wee pup rather than entertain her!

I had to share the picture of it!

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After 3 days of speaking to the frankly useless Orange Tech Help, various speed tests and my own fiddlings I finally stumbled upon a solution.

So lets cut to the chase because if you were as frustrated as me then you are on the verge of telling Orange to stuff it and have a big tantrum.

The fix:

Log into your router (If you installed the Netgear CD then there should be a link on your desktop which will open a path similar to: C:\Users\YourName\Desktop\Router_Setup.html). You will now be on the router’s summary page (see the first picture below). AT the bottom right there is a link that says “Router Login”…..click it!

Now unless you changed it the standard login info is: User: admin – Pass: password

On the left hand side menu click “Wireless Settings”. Under the heading “Wireless Network” you will see a “Mode” option, this is probably set to 150Mbps, change it to “g & b” (see the second picture below).

So thats: router admin->Wireless Settings->Wireless Network->Mode->g & b

Hey presto you have uploading power once again (mwahahahahaha). Now please note I was supplied a Netgear Wireless-N 150 ADSL2+ Modem Router – model DGN1000, so if you have a different router the path to the settings may be different but hopefully the result will be the same.

Now for a small rant at the Orange Tech Help: Why is all you can do to help is do a speed test, or ask me to do a speed test. I had already said the speed test I did earlier was fine! This obviously pointed to the router or a firewall problem or something else……but no no “We will do a speed test”. Rubbish! Waste of 5p a bloody minute, the guys have all the tech knowledge of an Orangutan’s nipple.

Well atleast Im enjoying very good speeds for my area, although downloads speeds are capped at peak times

I searched and searched google for a solution and didnt find it so I hope this helps you out.

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A Few Bob is an alternative to sites like fiverr and Gigbucks and is for the UK only. If your not familiar with this new style of marketplace then I will explain how it works briefly:

Sellers post gigs ads also know as micro jobs. On A Few Bob these range from £5 – £100 (sites like fiverr have one price of $5 which limits the kinds of jobs offered). The jobs themselves can be anything from logo design to grass cutting. Silly gig ads can also be quite popular like sending postcards from where you stay or singing happy birthday over the phone!

Once the jobs are live people can purchase them, contact is made between the buyer and seller. Job gets done and the sellers balance is credited with the sale (minus the A Few Bob’s commission at 10%). Once the seller reaches £30 they are paid via Paypal. Easy huh.

A Few Bob’s commission is only 10% compared to fiverr’s 20%! So a good deal and a new cool UK marketplace.

• Fiverr Script Clone Review

Buyers of course can pick up some good deals as Fiverr is limited to ads at $5. This means sellers can only advertise at this rate so getting your grass cut for that price would be a pretty goo deal (especially if you have a large lawn). Other sites offer sellers the chance to sell services for larger amounts too.

Anyway I liked the idea of this marketplace so much that I decided I wanted my own site doing exactly the same thing. The search for a decent clone script began. There is no shortage of options out there. I think I found around5-6 which looked OK. However some just didnt look right, others were way to pricey.

I finally clocked one over at PHP Valley (thankyou google ads) and it looks fantastic (pretty similar to Fiverr as you would expect being a clone script), had all the features and it was a very reasonable price. So I bought it as soon as I found it, downloaded it and got to work.

The script is lightweight but has the features you need. It was very easy to install and setup. I suddenly realised that everything was in $’s and I wanted £’s!! I emailed the creator and asked how much it would be to change it from $ to £. Nothing was the reply and he emailed me the fix within 30mins! Excellent service I think you will agree.

There are some cool features with the software like the fancy ajax popup login box and the fact that sellers can advertise services from $5 or £5 up to 100 (every multiple of 5 is available). The whole site is easy to operate from a users perspective, accounts are easily created, then users can start posting/editing/deleting “gigs” as they see fit.

The software is being actively updated and once purchased, updates are available for free.

You really cant go wrong with this script, its a low cost, the support Ive had was great and it looks/works great out of the box!

I would like to see some changes and updates though (which the owner is more than willing to hear):

1. A proper dropdown menu bar in the admin screen. I find the second level menu annoying.
2. An MVC framework used for the coding. Makes it sooo much easier to follow.
3. I think the CSS for the template was autogenerated by one of these website builder things. When I was editing it I found it pretty difficult to work with and its not the way I would code the CSS. If the owners wanted me to work on the CSS for them Id be happy to get involved.
4. Id like to see an option for sellers to “Cancel” or put a “Hold” on their gigs if they cant carry them out at that point. Just now they have to delete them and then re-post them.
5. A refund system would be cool. So if refunds were to be issued in some cases then it would be cool if a refund could be issued to the users account. So instead of issuing a Paypal refund you simply add the funds into their website account with you and they can use it to buy more gigs.

Overall though an excellent script at an excellent price and a quick and easy way to start a new business. I love it! Its been fun playing with it anyway. Whether my website takes off, who knows? Its still a cool website.

So have a look at the demos here and buy it!! Fiverr Clone Script Download

• A Few Bob – The UK fiverr alternative – UK Gigs Marketplace

Is Rubbish

So having just spent $249.90 I was eager to get started. The email arrived from Steve (the owner) with the script and plugins etc, it also contained a link to a video guide for installation.

I watched the installation and carried it out without to much bother. So I had a WordPress installation with a Noah installation in a sub folder. I then initialised the premium widgets/plugins and the bridge. I then set about getting used to Noah (as Im pretty good with WordPress I thought I would leave that until last), this I found was no easy feat. The admin is poorly laid out, illogical and clunky. The code is also not the best Ive seen, a lot of use of tables and inline styling. It also feels like it hasnt been built from scratch, more like its been adapted from something else.

Anyway having fiddled around with it a bit I decided to make a start on my WordPress theme. Upon trying to log into the WordPress admin area I found I couldnt. It threw an error and gave me no access. I asked Steve for help and he couldnt understand my problem and why I was having difficulties and told me to simply start again. Install WordPress then Noah then initialise the bridge. I did this and it seemed to work until I tested out the functionality of the bridge and widgets.

The bridge hardly functioned at all; I created an account in WordPress and tried to login to Noah with those details….it didnt work. I also found out from another Noah user that the bridge only works one way! So it only works if users register through WordPress…well it didnt even do that for me, but even so releasing the bridge in this state seems like its only half done.

So obviously I looked to Steve for support and found none, he simply replied “nobody else seems to have these problems”. Which is obviously a lie as there is numerous people unhappy with the software and Steve’s lack of support, he replies to your emails quick enough if you are interested in buying Noah but as soon as you hit any problems you will be lucky to get a reply!

After countless attempts to get it working, contacting Steve (to get no reply) and visits to the ‘cleverly’ called Norum which is the owners forum (which also uses a horrible forum script, thats slow, clanky and looks rubbish) that is rather sparsely populated and you will need to wait for a reply if you get one at all. Steve also doesnt support his product through the forum, he lets other Noah customers do the work for him.

It got to the point where I was so annoyed with everything I asked for a refund, to which Steve replied with an email basically saying that nobody else had any of my issues and that other noobs to the software manage fine and so its my fault. Doing his usual and not addressing the issue raised. I pushed the matter further and now receive no feedback whatsoever.

I thought I would check the terms and conditions on the Noah website and found these two lines:

“REFUNDS: Payments made to Noahsclassifieds.org are final and shall NOT be refunded under any circumstance.”

“REFUNDS: Payments made to Noahsclassifieds.org are final and shall NOT be refunded under any circumstance. Unless you elect for a 30-day Money Back Trial Period.”

I dont remember an option for a 30-day money back trial period when I made the purchase….funny that!

I suppose its my own fault. If you look at the Noah website, the checkout system, the forum. Non are particularly good and well designed so why would the classifieds script be any different. I hope by writing this review that people looking to purchase a classified script will avoid Noah like the plague and realise the lack of support should you run in to difficulties.

Im currently looking into other options and think I found a good alternative which I will write a review on when I have tested it. Still Im angry that I have wasted over £150 on rubbish that I no longer want to use and have no hope of getting a refund for.

UPDATE: I have found a really good out of the box classifieds software called ikiclassifieds. Its very easy to setup and has excellent admin customisation options. It also boasts excellent adsense and banner ad integration. You can set top ads (featured ads) and homepage placement ads payable via Paypal. Overall the site is excellent with phpBB included. I havent customised the code too much as I havent felt the need to, everything is almost perfect straight out the box…a highly recommended bit of software. Support is slightly slow (think the time difference effects it) but so far so good, they have answered all my comments etc. I also think its quite new so cant wait for updates!

UPDATE: Please read all the comment before purchasing iki. There may be a better option for you like using WordPress and a custom theme like Classipress or Classifieds Theme.

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OK so if you are anything like me (a man) then the thought of jostling in crowds in town centres is about as much fun as fighting off a bunch of savage, knife wielding, bobbit feminists whilst being naked!!

So of course the solution is to do it all online….which I do. This is of course not a new concept and would have thought that any man who hadnt thought about doing all their Crimbo shopping online probably deserves to trawl around shops being beaten to the best deals buy a wiley old Grandma. The rest of us however are smarter than that……so where do you shop online? I’ll give you my top five online stores below:

1. Well Presented Gifts
My number one site for some cool, unique gifts is Well Presented Gifts. Why oh why I here you ask, well for a number of reasons. Firstly they are cheaper than most if not the cheapest for the products they sell, not only that though is that on certain products you can get free gift wrapping! So you dont even need to wrap the damn things, Just stick’em under the tree and your done. Being pressed for time and a bit of a lazy sod this is perfect for me….I use their online shop…easy….they wrap it for me….easy. They will also send it to any address you want which is great for the relations scattered across the country. EASY! Definitely my top site for reliability, ease of use and extra freebies like wrapping!

2. Prezzy Box and Fire Box
In jointly at number 2 is Prezzy Box. Well actually I never used to like it due to the design, it was always a bit cramped and busy. Its still pretty busy but is sporting a nice new colourful look which I like. There are some really good products on there and a lot to browse through. One of the main things I like is the easy way in which to search for gifts. They have a ‘Gift Wizard’, which asks you 6 questions about the person you are buying for and it displays results to suit that person…again saving you time and frustration. Cool time saving tool if in a rush. Not the cheapest shop online though.

Pretty similar to Pressy Box is Fire Box, even the designs have become closer. Fire box is really awesome, it has so many cool products which you dont really need but want them all the same. Also has some cool search features….check out the ‘Randomiser’ and see what you get. Again its pretty expensive….I sometimes look for ideas there and then do a more in depth Google search to find a better deal (sorry Firebox…but you are a bit pricey).

3. I want one of those
Well I guess this is the big daddy of online gifts shops. Its first in Google but 3rd on my list. Ahuge array of stuff to look at your bound to find something for under the tree and in the stocking! I also like the “Things we didnt know” widget at the bottom of the hiomepage and they have a cool blog too.

4. Dot Com Gift Shop
Only just found this site and it differs from your ‘Fireboxs’ and the likes. It is a bit more grownup and has a nice selection of ‘homey style’ gifts. My girlfriend assures me that the “Retro-Spot” category is excellent and I am to buy it all.

5. Zavvi
Just the best place to get your games, DVD’s, CD’s and Books. Definitely one of the cheapest around but also one of the quickest deliveries Ive seen, especially since its posted from Jersey. i have literary ordered stuff late one day and got it the next. They are branching out into other areas and now sell products relating to Health and Beauty, Electronics, Clothing and loads more. Worth a gander for sure.

So thats my top five. Please feel free to add your favourites using the comment form below (unless you are a savage, knife wielding, bobbit feminist).

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Anyway I checked my analytics account and that post has had quite a few visitors each month, so I checked on Google for the key term “Unethical Companies”, sure enough Im there on page 2. I also noticed that this blog seems to get no traffic from Yahoo at all. So I did the same search there and noticed one of their ads on the right hand side (Google has the same one I just didnt see it).

I thought it was so funny for some reason I burst out laughing and thought I would write a wee post about it and show the snapshot of the ad (to the right).

Im not a huge fan of eBay and they have sailed close to the lines of being unethical in my experience (I class Paypal as being eBay too). But I didnt realise they have started selling unethical companies…..and who are the scum bags that are buying them. NOTE TO SCUMBAGS: I did a quick search for “Unethical Companies” on eBay and zero were listed….HAHA

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I wasnt exactly sure about what style and format Simon would entertain us with. That is I knew it would be clever, sarcastic and razor sharp but having never seen any stand up from him I wasnt sure on the delivery and content. Mr Amstell did not disappoint! Infact he exceeded my expectations.

Not only was he funnier than a fart in classroom full of 10 year olds but he was truly profound and left me with a philisophical feeling I had forgotten I could have. He was inspiring me to think in the moment and follow thought processes I had abondoned for work commitments and fretting over the future.

Im unsure if all my fellow audience members were thinking and feeling the same as me. Most I think appreciated his openness and well linked, flowing humour but I marvelled at his vulnerabilities exposed, then analysed in a genius like fashion only to be topped of with a large helping of humour.

For me at least he made it impossible not to like him, even with his ‘God Brain’ arrogance (a man after my own heart), spikey sarcasm, and confident awkwardness; all of which could put some people off.

I can honestly say its one of the best stand up perfomances I have ever seen and if you really listen to what he talks about you should take more than laughter away from the show. It seems true what they say that a good stand-up comics have high IQ’s. I only wish that my ‘God Brain’ was planet sized like Simon Amstell’s. Oh well….

When there is nothing that can be done…..do nothing!

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Bank of Robbers

The title read thus; “Important news about changes to your Bank of Scotland Current account” it should have read something like this; “We have thought of a new way to screw more money out of you”

The changes are to the overdraft fees. Bank of Scotland are no longer charging a debit interest rate but will be charging a pound a day for every day you are in your overdraft (for overdrafts upto £2,500)! At the moment I am charged around £12-13 per month for being in my overdraft all month, with the new system I will be charged more than double that at around £30!

What really yanks my noodle is the robbing bastards are trying to make it sound like they are doing me a favour by saying; “At Bank of Scotland we’re committed to fees that are clear and simple to understand”.

So not only are they trying to pull the wool over my eyes, pretending to do me a favour but they are insulting my intelligence by saying I cant comprehend a simple interest rate and it must be simplified for me!!!

These new overdraft charges I feel are purposely made to penalise people like me, who live in their overdrafts, the very people who are probably struggling to cope financially and should be aided not made worse off. Yet again the banks find away to penalise the poorer ranks of society.

Of course all Banks will be looking for ways to wangle that little bit extra from everybody after their almighty f*&^ up. They screw up, losing billions of pounds, we the tax payer foot the bill and we are thanked by increased charges masked with PR smoke blown out these jumped up bankers arses! And what can we do……not much really, change your bank maybe? Well they are all just as bad. Phone them up and complain maybe? Hah…if you can be bothered waiting 20 mins on the phone to do it! No there isnt much that can be done which is so frustrating, just write a rant on a blog nobody cares about.

Bank of Scotland a friend for life? Aye right

My letter from was from Mike Regnier, Director, Personal Current Accounts.

Well all I can say Mr Regnier is if this was your idea I hope you sleep well at night with the knowledge that you are robbing the damn people that have bailed you out and keep you in business and your slippery mitts quaffing champagne.

UPDATE:
Well I have spoken with my feet. After banking with Bank of Scotland my whole ‘banking’ life I have now transfered all my accounts over to Alliance and Leicester aka Santander. They offered me 0% interest on my overdrafts for 1 year and there after the charge 50p a day for being in your overdraft with a cap of £5 per month (this is even less than the interest charged on my overdraft by HBOS BOS). Also they do not charge for the simple use of having a business bank account. Indeed I have always found this strange that banks feel the need to take a cut of every process that happens in a business account…..doesnt seem fare, aparantly Santander think so too.

My sister too feels put out by Bank of Scotland and she has transfered to Alliance and Leicester. Alliance and Leicester also offer a referral insentive. If you refer somebody and they take up their current account then £25 each will be your reward.

So I hope that any Bank of Scotland customers reading this speak with their feet and jump ship for a better deal. Dont stand for their shoddy new charges. Please do not feel “loyalty” to them…they havent to you! After all its business! And they just arent running theirs very well so try somewhere else.

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